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November 07 2008

Depressionista

0MFGZZZ

I T0TALLYYY HATEEE MY LYFE, LYKE FER SURE THIS TIMEEE.

N0 0NE UNDERSTANDZ MEE ]:

Im JUSS AN 0RIGINAL, THATS ALL.

MY DAD &ND M0M TOTALLYYY BUY ME W/E THE EFF I WANT BUT THATS NOT ENUFF.

I CUT MY HAIR IN UGLY WAYS TO STAND OUT.
&ND CRY WHENEVR PPL TELL ME IT LOOKS
STOOPID.

I HAVE NO PERSONALITY WHATSOEVER.
&ND I WONDER WHY I HAVE NO FRIENDS.

IM GONNA RUN AWAY WITH MY BF TONITE.
WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER FER 2 M0NTHZ
&ND I ALREADY KNOE HE'Z THE WON.

GOOBYE LIVEJOURNAL.

UR MY BFF ALWAYSZ & FOREVERZ.

<3<3<3xXxKayLaxXxKannibalxXx<3<3<3

This generation pisses me off.
It's a serious let down.

Welcome to our world.
We are the wasted youth,
& We are the future too.

November 06 2008

Depressionista

I got called into the principal's office today.

Photobucket
& instead of going, I took a walk.
To clear my head of all the shit that
has happened in three days. I felt
so overwhelmed, that I honestly cried for
a hot minute. But I regained my poise when
a janitor gave me a weird look. But I digress,
I thought everything through & I think that
everything will be fine. For all of us.

To my feuding Best Friends;
It will all work out, even if you don't
see it happening anytime soon. We all love
eachother too much, & we've all been here
too long to just walk away. I love all three
of you, honestly.

To the boy;
If you can go off talking about how much you
care about me one day & the next you're
interested in her, then I fucking can too.
I have someone in mind. [;

November 04 2008

Depressionista

Nous avons été inséparables.

Means,
"We were inseparable."
Shit, how did we get here?
I miss the simpler days, wouldn't you all agree?

All though I am more than happy that
you feel the same as I do, you have to
show me. Show me anger, fierce fists,
clutching onto air, show me anything
just show me you care. I wish it were Friday
already. So far; this week is total shit.

November 03 2008

Depressionista
Play fullscreen
Inspiration at it's finest.

This weekend was amazing.
I trick or treated for the first time in years.

I met Mister T!

I toked & watched scary movies, haaaz.

& there's this boy, who makes me smile alot.
I think I like him, but I'm not sure yet.
He plays with my hands, & plays footsy with me.
I like waking up next to him,
I've said this already but this just feels right.
& I like the way he looks at me, with his silly faces.
"I'm gonna play a song for you."
Haha, you're cute, boy.
<3

Oh! Community service was the bee's knees! Lol, I may have complained the whole time but I was really enjoying myself.

I'm obsessed with the song "Halloween" by Meg & Dia.

I'm rambling.
I like someone.
I'm sore.
I'm watching Not Another Teen Movie.
I'm going Veg again starting New Years.
BlahBlahBlah;
I'm happy.
<3

November 01 2008

Depressionista
I never want you to feel lost again.
I'm only myself when I'm with you, baby.
I can't wait to spend my Saturday with you.

I love you, I really do.

October 28 2008

Depressionista

Hello, cowgirl in the sand.


I NEED TO
CHANGE A LOT OF THINGS.

Moving on is the only thing there is left to do.
This is probably the best, not to mention the worst idea I've ever had.
Reposted bywhatever whatever

October 26 2008

Depressionista

Cheesey E.

I just wanted you to know, that even though all this awesome shit happened to me yesterday; you telling me that I looked pretty was my favorite part of my day. <3

October 25 2008

Depressionista

I made the right choice.

I honestly feel like I did.
Even though I feel as though I should
have stayed, I already knew what was
going to happen. & I am proud that I
separated myself from the inevitable.

We don't need any repeats, that part
of my life is done with.

I don't need it.

I'm growing up.
I'm still young,
but no longer impressionable.

I'm so fucking tired.

I don't want to go lay in my bed,
there's nothing but clothes & random
objects placed across it.

Emmure fucking owned tonight.
I haven't gotten that into a live band
like that in a while.

Ps. I fell in love tonight.
Bet you can't guess who he is.

Here's a hint;


Haha, you're amazing Frankie<3.

October 24 2008

Depressionista

Hey,

I just called to say,
I still think about you.

I still remember our inside jokes.

I still remember the days we'd stay
stay after school in the library & I'd
sit on your lap & you'd tell me cute things in my ear.

& the times where you'd walk me to class
& kiss my cheek, cause that's all you really could do.

I still miss sneaking out of seventh period
to go see you while you were in gym.

I still think you're amazing.

I still wish things were different.

I still love you.

What hurts more is knowing you feel the exact same.

But what hurts most is knowing that in a
million years, we still could never be together.

There's too much riding on this.

I love you, a lot.
Nothing will change that.

No one compares to you.

October 20 2008

Depressionista

Smiley face // Less Than Three.

I like the way you play with my fingers.

I like the way you & I like the same music.

I like the way you look at me when you're playing guitar.

I like the way you & I can do stupid shit together & just crack up laughing.

I like how comfortable I feel around you.

I like your voice.

I like it when you dance.

I like how you didn't take advantage of me.

I like the way you stand up for what you believe in.

I like rolling over on my side & seeing you
lying next to me.

I like the way you  talk to me.

I like you. 

I can't explain it.
To me, this just feels right.
<3

October 18 2008

Depressionista

Something's missing.



You were the only face I'd ever known.
I was the light from the lamp on the floor,
and only as bright as you wanted me to be.
But, I am no gentleman, I can be a prick,
and I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had is no
longer there. It was the only place I'd never known.
Turned off the light on my way out the door.
I will be watching wherever you go,
through the eyes of a fly on the wall.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had is no
longer there, longer there.

You saw for yourself, the way it played out.
For you, I am blinded.
For you, I am blinded, for you.
I am no gentleman, I can be a prick.
And I do regret more than I admit.
You have been followed back to the same place
I sat with you drink for drink.
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist.

Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had, everything we had.
Everything we had, everything we had,
everything we had...

I'll be with you wherever you go,

through the eyes of a fly on the wall.
Depressionista

Coming home.

Tonight made me realize a lot of things.

All of which will help me move onto bigger & better things.

Like;

I don't give a fuck about you & your bullshit problems you ALWAYS throw at me. We hardly ever talk anymore, & when we do it's about YOU. How about you ask me how the fuck I'm doing. Ask me how the fuck I've been. This isn't sophomore year anymore. I'm not your fucking shoulder to cry on. Man up & deal with your shit. You're acting like a little fucking girl.

There's is so much more to life than boys. You severely fail to realize that. Because that's all you ever talk about. You have no personality, still. No wonder you two are best friends.

Fuck.



& oh my God, if I would have ran into you tonight, I'd honestly be hurt. I just want to see how you're doing. But there's a big problem that stands between us being friends again. & it's wrapped in slutty clothes. I miss you so so much. <3

Blah, I made new bff's tonight. Haha, they pretty much made my night bearable. Is that how you spell bare-able?

But the best part was spending my time with you. & letting everything out, instead of holding it all in. You are so important & special to me. I would never put some stupid boy before you. I don't think you understand how lost I'd be without you. Honestly. I love you with all my heart, Best Friend.

October 17 2008

Depressionista
Well, nothing feels real anymore. I'm NOT taking my time anymore. To show you how I feel. To show you who I am.

CAUSE IT'S LOCKED AWAY.
— JonnyCraig<3.

October 16 2008

Depressionista

I wish you could spend a day in my shoes.


I took this picture of my feet when Leon was pelvic thrusting in my face. That day was one of the best I've had in a long ass time. & that drink was the shit.

Just so you can see how much it sucks to patiently wait for something you know is never going to come.

I care too much.

I think too much.

I don't think enough.

I've been here too long to just walk away.

I have so much to say to you. & I know the moment we speak to each other again, I'd have forgotten it all.

Well, I just wanted to say,
 I miss you.

That's all really.

No fancy fonts.

No little hearts scribbled everywhere.

I miss you.

October 11 2008

Depressionista

Whores don't trip, they bleed at the bar.

The fact that you would even choose to cheat on your
 girlfriend with me, makes me sick. On both ends. I
regret kissing you last night one hundred fucking
 percent. I just did it to prove that I could. Because you're
 as easy as they come. & believe me when I say. It didn't
 mean anything to me. No matter how many times you
 call me baby, or how many times you tell me you love
 me,  you'll always be nothing more than a cheap fuck.
So maybe we shouldn't have done what we did
last night, well this morning rather, haha.
I know it didn't mean anything, but still.
As fucking lame as it sounds;
you make me smile, haha.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
 I still don't regret shit.


You changed my life, boy.
 I can't wait to see you again.
<3333333333

October 07 2008

Depressionista
I'm waiting for the day when the SMART girl beats the PRETTY girl.
— anonymous
Depressionista

Jeeez people, come on.



I can't remember the class I was in, or how we got on the topic. But me & a few classmates began discussing our sex lives, or lack there of. & I was shocked to see the surprise on people's faces when I told them I was a virgin. What? It's not like I carry myself in a slutty manner or that I have a reputation. 
>__________<

I realized today that I over think things.
 Or don't think them through enough.

& spending time with you, honestly made my day. You reminded me of as to why I fell for you in the first place. You will always be special to me for obvious reasons, haha. I miss talking to you. You always were one to make me laugh. What really won me over was how you remembered everything that happened between us. God that seems like it was years ago, right? You still make me smile. <3?

P.s. you really do give good hugs.
 I was kidding when I said you didn't.

October 06 2008

Depressionista

The Girl.


Starting today;
I'm not going to be that girl anymore.
<3333
Depressionista
I believe in love like the movies.
— Hi, I'm Polaroid
Depressionista
7774 167b 390
It's not like I'm a slut, or that I really like to fuck. I just want every boy I see, to walk away with part of me. Until there's nothing left to hold. Until there's nothing left to hate.I appreciate your help. But even you can't save me from myself.
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